Friday, May 15, 2009

The Meaning of Life...?

Life means everything for a human to live on..doing things they want to do. But what exactly life means to everyone? To me? I think all people have the same thoughts about this too =3

What if our lives have a purpose? What if we need ti accomplish something at least to change the world? I really believe that the little things we do makes or creates something new and different! Example? Try to think back...if you did not meet even one of your friends or best friends last time...what will happen in this current time? All the little things that you did together would not be the same as you did before you met them...maybe you guys would not agree..it's my thoughts though =D I like to think questions more than answers...answers are for us to realize and unravel..not by only been told verbally but to experience it to learn more about it no? God have something for us...it can be helping another life, changing bits of the world to make it a better place for some of them, more and more...helping one another to live happily is the best thing that can happen...i would not want to overjoy myself, alone for the things I had accomplish...like being the famous cartoonist (i wish) ...it'll be a total nuisance because it'll be 100 fold the happiness if I can share it with my family and friends...

Of course...if you helped someone...why want to let the whole world know? Yes...accomplish something..but if you keep it to yourself, would not it be better? God would be overjoyed! It can be listed as things usually most people would not do...and it feels good..trust me..

Helping someone and sharing your success with another is different...you help someone is what you think is right..no need to let others know about it...if you do..seeking attention and praises don't you think? (I'm talking about general...not pointing fingers =D)

Experiencing the whole of life? Like what? Doing at least one thing that you had not done before...? Well.. yea..that's the beauty of life! Of course..i don't mean the negative areas...some of it are not suppose to do...never..i know you know what I mean right? (Yea yea...whatever) I have no authority to tell you to change your life styles or thinking (if you are thinking that what I said is absurd) it's just what I realized...what I felt and what I had experienced =D there should be more to life for everyone...it's only how you choose to live...and life on earth is 'usually' given one chance...

Friday, January 23, 2009

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Beginning of a New Year...

My first post for 2009 lolzz I wanna shout out first... MY TRAINING IS OVER!!!! YAHOOOO~~~~ *jumps jumps hops hops* although i am extremely happy about it but I do miss the regular customers and the chef who makes me laugh and chit chat with me everyday at work. The customers even gave me flowers and new year's allowance =) shy to say but i really did shed tears on the last day of my training...i was hiding though ><" it had become one of my experiences and memories...well then, let's move on!!!

From the work back to school. SWTNESS!! I never thought moving all my luggages back to IMI (my school) would be so time consuming and most of all drained my strength and energy!!! Thank goodness the train station provides courier service which delivered my 30kg luggage from Lausanne to Lucerne. It was in the morning around 11.30..Please do not imagine how I carried that heck of weight by taking the bus to the train station....luckily I bumped into a familiar face when getting into the bus and he helped me throughout the chaos =D and again, the Lord helped me in times of trouble. Oh btw, whoever is reading this wants to use this service, please bear in mind that the max weight is 25kg for them to accept your luggage. Do not look at me...I was lucky i guess =D you can try but i DID warned you. (God helped me again XD)

1 down!! 5 to go!!! YES 5 MORE!! But it was all normal bags which I have to be the "bellboy" herself. Worst case scenario...I MISSED THE TRAIN BY 1 MINUTE!!! It was 7.45 p.m. ==" Dang...i have to wait for another hour to catch the next train...NVM!! I can wait!! But the problem is...Decemeber...winter...I HAVE TO FACE MY WORST ENEMY!! COLDNESSS!! It was my fault actually because I too missed the first bus to the station too...what to do!! I HAVE 4 BAGS ALL OVER MY BODY and PULLING 1 BEHIND ME!! I seemed more like a runaway girl @@" anyways, i caught the train at 8.45 (yes..i did not miss it) and sat for the whole 2 hours to reach Lucerne with 2 of my friends waiting for me =D

It was then 11 p.m and I got down from the train like an idiot with the stupid bags...moreover the reception of the school is closed...so to the out-campus villa we go!! (wif two of my friends) met new friends there and chit-chatted. Some of them are taking the same course as I am and some of them had already started their internship (they are the next batch after mine) after eating Maggie Mee (which i had not ate dinner earlier =D) Me and Bee Fong went to one of the bedroom to sleep LOLZ luckily some of the students had not arrived yet =X

Morning came....finally checked into the room in campus...STORAGE TIME!! As Bee Fong was with me (ngek ngek ngek) asked her help to take out my stuff from the storage room...My gosh..when we reached the place where I kept my stuff nicely, the sight was like a forsaken place trashed by a tornado. There was no sign of my boxes at the place i left it!! So we searched...and finally found them...lying below some boxes and the other one was found by Bee Fong. Mission accomplished...for now...

After breakfast around 11.30a.m. to the train station with the bus to catch the 12p.m. train to Lausanne, again. What to do! I had a few more things there and I had to return the room key to the restaurant boss. I dashed to the train at platform 8 (yesh i remember...) because the train was departing in less than 1 minute!!!! The most humiliating and paiseh thing happened was...i fell down ==" (don't laugh!!) Dam jia lat(not good) lo!!! LOLZ but i just got up again and continued my run to the train =D yesh...i managed to get on the train before it departed.

Reached Lausanne, cleaned the room a bit (so good of me <3 lolz), slept a bit and the boss came to retrieve the key haha goodbyes were said and yes, again, went back the the train station to leave Lausanne for the last time. It was around 5.30 p.m. Fed up of waiting for the 7.45p.m train, decided to take the 6.45p.m train (cuz i have the card which you can ride for free after 7p.m) Reached around 10p.m at Lucerne and ate Burger King (Yea they have it there but it was just recently haha) Hectic days before the new semester started 3 days later after that...dam...i have muscles liao lo! I was traveling like hell! Fed up wif trains for now =X so that was the story of how I spent my New Years...swtnes....so sad ==" btw I kinda grown mature liao (a lil bit la, give face ler lolz) and know how to take care of myself at least =) i miss my Kenari *sobs*

Now...I have to finish my dissertation proposal by Sunday...the due date is CNY day itself... =( can't go back Msia to take ang pao so send to me~~~ msg me and i'll give you my address =D lolzzzz school life is going to get busy starting next week ><" but playing is important too hahahaha thinking of going skiing and paintballing!! Don't be jealous lolzzz okay la~ need to continue my work already....until next post (which i do not know when i'll write =X) CIAOZZ!!!

HAPPY BELATED BELATED NEW YEAR AND HAPPY CNY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! kisses and hugz XD

yours truly,
Clarryn aka Liyan

Friday, December 5, 2008

Realization for now...

Thanks for waiting *bows* =D What i am about to write is what I learned in my life until now haha not much but I just wanna share...and talking about sharing, I am actually a person with many thoughts but do not know how to express what I think and feel...sometimes I feel hopeless because of that but I am good by expressing in words XD so let's go~

For the pass 6 months, I was and still doing my intern in a typical Chinese restaurant in Lausanne, Switzerland in order to gain experience, learn new things and to get my Higher Diploma Cert (yay~) As i was saying, I learned quite a lot about life (not too much), working experience, myself and the faith for the Lord and Holy Father. Yes, I admit that I am still a child..(a childish one actually haha) and the people in the restaurant can see that and sometimes treat me like one but I don't really mind because it is who I am. And also because of that, there would be more opportunities for me to grow. Working life is not as easy as I thought (OT and all and I don't have much time for myself). I had doubts last few months ago that if I had chosen the right course to study in as I'm interested in Illustration and creativity things. I was lost and afraid...prayed to the Father about this and He showed me that I can go to Events Management to have my interest bloom. And so, I decided to take Events Management and Tourism.

I felt that I am very blessed...although the place that I am doing my training is not a famous 5 star hotel or a fine dining restaurant, but the colleagues and the boss treat me well. I enjoyed my training there but sometimes hate it as there's too much chores to do...I realized that my working style sometimes irritate people haha (so sad) because I have a poor memory, always assuming (like assuming what customers order), slow mind... and much more!! arghhh I seem to mess up every time!! I hate myself! But still I have to change all of that because I already knew what's wrong with me...Despite all that, the boss and colleagues accepted who I am although I got scoldings all the time hahaha but I know they want to teach me a good lesson about it. Good people =D It's a long road for me to change myself but little bit by the day, I'm sure I'll reach the goal~ wish me luck!

I see problems of life faced by others and myself during the whole period...I faced loneliness (stated in "Period of Independence"), seen the edge of breaking down of my roommate facing problems with family and life, hanging on the line facing poverty, and the worst having an abortion...(not me ==") Maybe to some of the people, these problems seemed to be quite normal...but for me, I am so glad that I had not experience all of that (for now) and I have a loving family supporting my back...my friends too =) I learned not to complain so much about life and go with the flow because I myself is lucky enough to stay out of all those problems..most probably He knows I wouldn't know how to handle (yet) hahaha

Everyone is asking me when am I going back home (Malaysia) and my answer is always NEXT YEAR!! KEEP THAT IN MIND PEOPLE!! DON'T ALWAYS ASK ME THE SAME QUESTION EVERYTIME!! *kof kof* pardon me..I know you guys are caring but please really keep that in mind lolzzz I had repeated that more than a thousand times....seriously ==" God have plans for me but I really do not know what is it or what are they...I decided not to find work in Malaysia after graduation but i would have no choice to return if there is really no place for me to go...do not get me wrong though!!! I want to go back!! Mamak, shopping, yc, cyber cafes, OMG i miss Malaysia already!!! Sobssss I miss you people too!!! Be there when I touch down at KLIA yea =D of course i'll post the date of my arrival hehe ciaozzz

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Period of Reflection...

Uh-hem...i haven't been posting anything lately (for a long time actually =D) actually I haven't got a clue on what to blog about...if it's my daily life, it's too boring to read (write too) so I'm focusing on what I learned and learning..what I understand and what I don't..what I want to know about life and about Him. Well..sometimes I need to have inspirations to write too ahahaahha so stay tune.. =)

Friday, September 19, 2008

What is...Love??

How touching it is to watch a romantic scene of a movie when two destined souls meet and live happily ever after? I personally love romance movies (very much but it could not be compared to real life stories.

What is love actually?? Yeah...a question. A bond between two lovers? An unconditional sacrifice for loved ones? Or is it a feeling that draws living souls to each other? Maybe all them are the answers. When I look up in Wikipedia for definition of Love, countless explanations defines it. Why is that? Love is just merely a word in a dictionary but holds great meaning to mankind.

I was once madly in love and dated, just like any other person. Once it was ended, I felt pain..an incurable, suffering pain which cannot heal just with some medicine...time was my only ally. Now, when I think about the past, no matter how well a relationship goes and how deep one's love is, once it ends, it ends. Anyways, I'm not having negative thoughts of relationships (i meant relationships between lovers) but just giving my opinions about it. The world is giving me bad thoughts about relationships which are originally pure and truthful...because of this, i'm kinda scared of having one...sad yeah ==" However, i see couples successfully came together then get married to live happily ever after...that gives plenty of hope!

Love that comes from families are warm, encouraging, supportive and anything that you can think of. I'm actually a shy type (to be honest) which does not show my true feelings and character when it comes to issues like family, but after I came to Switzerland, I definitely miss my family even though my mom is erm..naggy lolzz and I definitely love them as much as they love me. This kind of love does not end and it continues even after we had fights and disagreements (which i always have).

Can friendship come into the category of love too? Some may think it's not but i think it can be one too. Any explanation for the feeling? I really don't know lolzz i'll get more puzzled if I get any deeper of this XD

One thing is for sure...the most precious love of all..the love of the world's creator..I need to learn to more about this too as I'm kinda lost...maybe I have not understand the REAL meaning of love....do you?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Misunderstandings...

2 months had passed since the first day I started my internship in Switzerland. Each day is getting tougher...yes, from work definitely but also my heart that yearns for friends and family. When I thought of it...I have different groups of friends that are (sorry to say) hard or impossible to fuse them together. Firstly, is my primary friends (yes, we are still in contact); secondly, my secondary friends; thirdly, my college friends; fourthly, my church and cf members; and lastly, my online gaming friends (we actually have a strong bond).

Wow...I was amazed of myself that I was able to have these groups of friends but never thought of introducing them to each other! These few reasons was the caused of my disappointment...language (chinese vs english), life styles, different interests, different mind set, culture and beliefs. So much gap in between!! Think this way...if one day, I would have a birthday party and I invited all of them...there would be a flower pattern...5 petals...I would be in the center, waiting for a bee to sting me... *nightmare* and of course...an ice breaking session definitely would happen but I'm sure that only 10% of each group would only participate and the rest would stick with each other...I guess I'm not the only one with this problem...

The situation above is just like the Christians and non-Christians. They can be friends but only on the surface because of different beliefs. Actually, I am the only believer in my family (they are buddist) and my mom seemed to have a slight disagreement with that. There's a story of why my mom doesn't like Christians (she said so herself). Very long time ago, my mom used to have this friend who one day became a believer of Christ. After that, her friend's attitude changed entirely. She became selfish towards non-Christians, doesn't hang out with non-Christians and tried to force friends around her, including my mom to be a believer!! Wth!? Because of this, my mom changed her opinions towards Christians. Serious as it sounds but it is true...after I knew about this story, I felt disgusted and pissed because of that person. But then, I realized that I am too making my mom to dislike Christians more and more because of my selfishness towards my family. I am a friend-sided type that cares more about my friends than my family...sad but it's true. Not only I always go against my parents, but also not a good sibling as I always argue with my younger sister almost about everything. I would never say no to my friends but it is so easy to say get lost to my family...

I read a blog owned by a friend of mine which I admire his maturity and knowledge that always help me through times of trouble. I agree with his point of saying Christians are more selfish than other religions when related to money especially, towards non-Christians...I saw with my own eyes and experienced it myself too. Why? Is it because the non-believers are not our sisters and brothers in Christ? It seems that the Christians are the ones that began this HUGE misunderstandings and made an impact to the non-Christians to have bad perspective towards our God. I am a part of that too because of my selfishness and my mom tried to stop me from going to church as she thought it was where I went bad. I am so ashamed of myself...

I now realized this problem and I am trying to change...to be a better person to show others that the God I am trusting and believe is not what they think He is because of misunderstandings and selfish actions but the kind, loving and awesome God that created us all as a Holy Father...If we as Christians do not show the world who God really is in us, who will??